In terms of interpersonal communications, your working life matters.  We invest in the search for the perfect mate and in raising well-adjusted kids. But sadly, we spend the majority of our waking hours at the office, in trials, with patients, driving the truck, teaching the kids or whatever else it is that we pursue.  For many of us this pursuit will last well into our late 60’s (longer for many) as the economy has not delivered as we believed that it would.  These work/home life years require that we navigate relationships with coworkers and family members. Those relationships thrive or fail based upon our ability to communicate.

Many weekdays commence with the same soft entry into the morning of being shot out of a cannon.  We dress ourselves, down the Joe, eat breakfast if we really believe that meal to be important (I don’t), and rush through traffic to  reinvent ourselves as the composed worker.  I have often arrived at that stop appearing harried.   I  think back to a beautiful, spunky, creative young woman who worked for me — who was always impeccably cheerful (yes, every  morning) and I asked her how she managed — she said “Jennifer, it is acting … and I am a good actress.”  When, several years later, she resigned to run marketing for a prominent theater group — I said good for you — we are still good friends.

Which takes me to why we embark upon work that matters. My hero, Studs Terkel. wrote and spoke on Chicago radio about this for many years.  Early on, before meaning-making psychologists pontificated on the issue, Terkel engaged with average men and women who made a difference in whatever their trade or vocation.  From the outside, these folks may have looked to have dull or low impact jobs. But  to each worker, they were changing the world, one brick at a time.  Communicating honestly with ourselves, our families, our coworkers and members of our species ultimately ensures that we embrace a journey of meaning. That is,  as another favorite writer, Po Bronson has said so that we “do not squander our time here.”

Those 9+ hours per day are spent with people with whom we did not take vows and those (that while they may be more childlike than our real kids), we have no impact on rearing.  Those relationships and the working journey that we walk together define us for what’s next — and there is a next.  

We have each been turned sideways in today’s complex existence.  If you have not yet, you will sooner than you think.   Pay attention, There is — as Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young said in the 70’s -“something happening here…what it is ain’t exactly clear….” (you know the rest). Your day-in day-out existence does matter. The work you undertake should be an extension of that belief.

Is it going to matter 100 percent of the time? Will each day ensure glee? Will you spend the holidays with coworkers (no, no and please don’t).  But can we each embark on working life as an extension of ourselves that net contributions that propel us forward? Yes, We Can (and you know who said that one too).  

So, how to make this happen for you? Ensure that your own interpersonal communications with your family and friends is an honest refection of who you are.  Take that honesty (with the necessary workplace nuance) to your workplace and bring your real self through the doors.  Explore what it is that you do, that resonates with your own self. 

Does it matter? Does it matter to you? (because as your mama said, it is your life).  If the answer is “no”, determine the value of your time invested in your life.  

You do have a choice. Most importantly, ensure that you are being honest with yourself.  This is a process … live the journey and be comfortable with your words and choices.

In black leggings and black t-shirt because they are comfortable,

Jennifer