We could learn some lessons from the Europeans.  Indulge me as I stereotype from my soft
seat in the middle of America. And understand that my vantage point is through
the eyes of my daughter (in Belgium for one year) and some new international
friends.

 

While daughter (Nora) is in Europe, we use Skype as
our vehicle to jointly ensure that her college applications make it to their
proper locations. She warned, before she departed, that my helicopter
tendencies would need to be toned down.

 

That they stress her out. That I am too high strung.

 

Since her departure she misses driving, American
football and speaking her native language.  She also has imparted that her French-Belgium family is not
uptight (the way we American families often are), but slowly has admitted we
are also “chill.” (A compliment…meaning not quite as high strung as she once
suspected).

 

At the same time, I have learned of two recent
suicides. Not close friends, but friends of friends. Adults. People who should
know that life eventually gets better. Those sometimes there are tough times
but that things often get brighter moving forward. And both took themselves out
violently.

 

There is profound sadness for folks who run out of the
will to press on and choose this way to end their tortured journey — when
there are always other options.

 

My deep dive into WWII, the Holocaust and the study of
the proliferation of evil continues. 
Even careening towards 50, it’s tough to comprehend why any individual
takes himself out, or why an entire society collectively chooses to eradicate
another people or culture. Aging and time on the planet doesn’t result in
insights that can make sense of this behavior.

 

The ways in which the ends of life are delivered is
never pretty.

 

Those who collectively choose to end it all for an
entire population are of a psyche that cannot be understood. Worldwide, genocide
still continues in contemporary society. The dark side of human nature lives.

 

Yet, from many of our young people, those more
optimistic among us and those with a longer vision, we take note.

 

The Jewish Ghetto in Lodz, Poland (1940-1944) was
the last to fall prey to the death camps. Hearty and ambitious inhabitants who
were indispensible a few years earlier in cities like Warsaw populated it.  They believed in themselves and better
days. They worked to set themselves free and, in fact, were successful (though
starved) for a longer period than others like themselves.

 

On Lodz, the Chief Rabbi of Poland said in 2002:

 

 

“It teaches each of us that we never have a reason
to stop behaving as a human being should. No matter what happens, we have an
obligation to behave in a certain fashion. The Jews of the Litzmannstadt/Lodz
Ghetto taught us how to live, as well as how to die,”

 

 

 I recently
visited Cincinnati’s Ronald McDonald house. I saw youngsters with serious
illnesses, yet parents who believe. They believe in medicine, friendship, and
the goodness of strangers, their own strong children and themselves. Their
attitude takes having a bad day to a whole different realm of consciousness.

 

Like many of you, I lead a scheduled life. The past
25 years have been on an endless treadmill, meetings, family obligations and
too many balls in the air. Lists and appointments have felt like friends. Worries
were abundant. Tossing and turning over minutiae was part of my psyche.

 

And to what end?

 

For the most part, those thoughts that invaded sleep
and personal well being were worries in the wrong direction. Plans for the
future generally were on par, but not always. Priorities were sometimes
misplaced.

 

Somehow my children seemed to develop a decent set
of values.

 

I only recently learned that my stress level often
became theirs. And generally this was generated via much ado about nothing.

 

Whether we are leading a team in the workplace, or
our own household, our behavior creates wake, a psychic turbulence, for others
to navigate through on their own journey. Like when we only glimpse our
mirrored image from the front side, and don’t catch the falling back hem or
visible panty lines.  Our wake can
be more challenging to navigate than the role of “lead dog”.

 

Kicking up dust is not the best way to live. And
certainly is selfish.

 

Our days toss choppy waters towards us. And in the
middle of it, it is incumbent upon us to design the semblance of a balanced life.

 

This involves perseverance.

 

Nora told me (on one of these relentless days) to
accept it all.

 

“Que Sera Sera, Mom. Whatever will be, will be.”
Don’t stress.

 

And you know something, she is right. When we get to
a certain place, what happens next is very much out of our control. Whether it
relates to an entire population or a very sick child, these are not times for
which we can “list out” or plan. There are not words or action items.

 

Europeans have been around longer than we in the
USA. Viscerally, they know that life will be filled with obstacles.
Nevertheless, they live life in little and big ways to bring happiness. (Or at
least they seem to do this a bit better than we generally do). They are more
sanguine. They seem to understand pleasure, the little things, living and time
away from the working life better than we do.

 

They live each day. They will settle for being
number two (rather than number one) and not compromise their quality of life.

 

We should take heed.

 

Sure, we must hold onto our values, hopes and
prayers. But, hopefully, not at the expense of the here and now.  Whatever is eating us either will go
away or will still be here tomorrow.

 

Either way, we still have now.

 

Relish what Neil Young sings,

 

“The dreams that you’re having won’t let you down.”

 

Hoping that I don’t have visible panty lines, but
will check in the mirror for sure,

 

Jennifer